My full awakening began not so long ago with a simple sentence “I matter to the Universe”. Since then, I want to leave my whole past behind, and I don’t only want this, I know that I will leave the past behind forever. As I wrote yesterday: once you step to a higher energy level, there is no falling back to the lower level. In hindsight, I wonder how I could have mentally tortured myself even after I had learned so many lessons to the benefit of myself and others.
How many people out there do the same that I did? Blaming themselves? Mistrusting themselves? Or the other version: blaming others, mistrusting others. Usually both versions go hand in hand. In my case? Alone with myself, I blamed myself. I could not find relief in blaming others. But if asked for example by friends why I am so full of doubt I blamed circumstances, talked about bad experiences. Not knowing how else to explain my doubts. Also knowing somehow that they could not take away the doubts about myself. Overall I preferred to present myself as if anything was okay more or less.
The other unsolved question “What am I living for?” I found no sense in my existence. My existence was as unimportant and meaningless as if a bag of rice knocks over in China.
I matter to the Universe
Oh yes, that’s exciting, and I am just at the beginning of the journey to whom I meant to be. This sentence was as if a door swung wide open, bright light, looking at myself and hearing me say “Oh wow!” about what I had accomplished so far. There is already so much within me which will make sense, which will have meaning from now on.
Trusting the Universe to guide me from now on. Pushing away negative thoughts because they are energy too, bad energy. I matter because I committed myself to being good energy. This alone is enough already. At the same time I feel a pull … somehow to the unknown.